


You Are Lost, Theon, You Can Never Go Home.

by nanjcsy



Series: The Unforgiven [25]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Human Hunting, M/M, Mindfuck, Multiple Personalities, Murder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-02 13:00:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanjcsy/pseuds/nanjcsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I really like exploring the descent and personality change.  Since I am on the program of Theon taking quite a while to learn obedience, I wanted to write about that crucial time when he switched to Reek.  Would it be during a torture so horrific he had to switch to Reek to survive it?  Or something so humiliating, Ramsay doing something so dark and demeaning that he switched to please his new master?  Then again, maybe that huge moment happened so quietly, in the dead of night, in a moment where the truth of his situation has really hit him.  Something so big should happen with a bang if it were tv...but I think it was very silent and more painful than all the torture added up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reek Learns His Name

Reek, Reek, Reek, Reek.  
This is what Ramsay calls him, tells him it is his new name, he must forget that he was a Lord, even a Prince! He must forget all the whores, his smiles (this part is easy, since his teeth are all broken, why would he even ever wish to smile at Dreadfort?) Theon must forget he was a kraken, he must forget the wolves as well. Reek never was anything, only what Ramsay makes him, his creature, his pet. For a long time, he would remember the name, but make himself say Theon Greyjoy instead. He cringed then cuddled into Kyra's fur, while the tears fell. So much pain, the dungeon was one step away from what hell is...or maybe this is a form of death, or a form of hell.

Reek, Reek Reek, Reek  
He tried so hard to please Ramsay today, to his shame he begged to pleasure him with his hands and mouth. Desperate to avoid the knife, the whip, the impending beating of some form, so he acted like a needy whore, and it amused Ramsay enough that instead of punishing Theon, he let his pet suck his cock. Theon hated the taste, the feel of it, hated swallowing Ramsay's come, but he had learned very quickly and painfully to always swallow it down. Cringing against a dungeon wall that was so cold it hurt but it was nothing that held his attention. "Did I really just do that? How could I do that?" he whispers to himself, voice ragged and rusty from lack of water. Suddenly, he laughs for the first and only time since he met Ramsay, it was a laugh full of despair and the last real touch of the Greyjoy charm ghosted through. "No, Theon Greyjoy did not suck that bastard's cock, Reek did" and he laughed quietly then sobbed till he slept.

Reek, Reek, Reek, Reek  
He needs to stop making Ramsay so angry, Theon cannot take much more, what if it keeps getting worse? What if his tormentor decided to start flaying his face or whole chest for bad behavior or stupid mistakes? Just the thought makes all his pains flare worse. More and more Theon needs to fade away, but he can feel the hated, shameful Reek wake up to take his place. Reek still gets hurt and gets into trouble but not quite as much as Theon. He has noticed that Theon seems to live in the dungeon, listening to a water drip that drives him mad looking for it, to get some water on his dry tongue. When Theon talks to Ramsay pain always follows, brutal pain. When he allows Reek to take over, they get to sleep in the kennels with the warm dogs. Reek sometimes gets petted gently on the head, when Reek was given a dog collar, Reek was truly grateful, cried and licked Ramsay's hands and boots. Ramsay was so pleased that he actually let Reek sleep on his rug, next to his bed, after Ramsay took him, rough and hard on his bed. Theon was horrified at this supplication and tried to come out, but Reek would not let him come back yet. Not while Reek was being so good, Theon had to stay back or they will get hurt again, he knows this and along with Reek, he cries. Difference was, Theon was crying because he was humiliated, terrified and his ass hurt terribly. Reek was crying out of sheer gratitude that his Master would let him sleep on this wonderful rug, in the warm room, near his Master, so he must have been good.

Reek, Reek, Reek, Reek  
His Master just told him that Rob Stark will not come and give him a peaceful, justified death, a quick beheading. Instead, Rob lost his own head and had his beloved wolf's head sewn onto his neck. Delighted with Theon's tears, he chuckled and grabbed a handful of Theon's hair and yanked up so he could see his pet react to his next bit of news. "I am not done yet, I have more important news for you, Reek. You will look at me while I tell you, in fact you should always look at nothing but me, think of nothing but me...we will have to have a nice lesson about that soon." The words were said lightly, but Theon cringed down and whimpered. Would that lesson include a knife cutting off his eyelids? "Master, please, I am sorry. I will always keep my eyes on you. Please, forgive me, it will never happen again" Was that Theon Greyjoy's voice? That broken voice, that pleading? No, it must be Reek sneaking through again. Theon wanted to hear the news, hoping deep down that it would lead to hope, but Reek wanted to take over to prevent any further infractions that would cause him more pain later. With an utterly brilliant smile, Ramsay said in a mockingly gentle voice, while stroking Theon's long matted hair, his intense eyes looking into Theon's eyes, "I am sorry to inform you, my pet, that your father is dead. Yet I have one last bit of news for you and it is good news, Reek! Good news for you, isn't that wonderful?" Theon nodded right away, peering up at Ramsay, looking into the eyes that haunt his nightmares. That tiny glimmer of hope flared up again and Reek in the background tried to warn Theon not to hope, it may be a trick and not to let that hope shine in his eyes, if Ramsay ever saw that, Reek shuddered.  
"Your beloved fierce sister has decided to sail down and she thinks to rescue you from me. Isn't that nice to know there is one person left on earth that doesn't think you are a wretched little lording that became a turncoat and should be killed?" Theon was thrilled at this news, but Reek was terrified at what Theon may do or say now. If Theon nods, then he is saying he is happy someone wants to rescue him from Ramsay...his Master, his owner. That could cost another toe or finger. Reek and Theon were now both at the forefront, their head full of elation and horror overwhelming them. "Reek, the last bit of news now. Are you ready?" They nodded, even though both Reek and Theon wanted to scream no, we cannot take much more in, there is no more room for more nightmares, tricks or even a bit of news, bad or good.

Reek, Reek, Reek, Reek

Ramsay was maniacally cheerful now, practically bursting with this piece of news. He took his large hand, put it around Theon's neck. It recently started to seem that Ramsay's getting bigger and stronger while Theon was getting weaker and so much smaller. Theon flinched and shuddered when Ramsay wrapped his hand around his neck, but Reek made sure they stayed very still after that, looking up submissively at their Master.  
"Asha will be here soon enough and I have already laid out traps and plans to take her. What shall I do with her, Reek? More important, my little broken kraken, you will have your sister back!" Ramsay smiled and then shrugged. "Well, at least you may have her with us for a bit...unless I decide to hunt her. Yet, you have been so very obedient recently that I have decided upon a little present for you. I will let you visit with your sister, in fact, you can stay with us while I play with your sister. And if I do decide to hunt her, I will even bring you with us, so you can be with your beloved Master and watch everything I do." The somewhat demonic look in Ramsay's eyes had lit up when he talked about having Theon watch Asha's torture, rape and maybe even her death. Theon screamed in his mind at the horror of this while Reek looked up into Ramsay's eyes and whimpered, "Thank you Master for this kindness." Yet even as Theon fought for the control, enraged and shattered, Reek tried to maintain his presence because he sensed a trick here, that could hurt them. Theon managed to gain enough strength to break through and speak. "Master, please, don't hunt her, not my sister please!!!!" Theon hoped his voice was submissive enough, but Reek started screeching in his head about danger, but it was too late for that now.

Reek, Reek, Reek, Reek  
Curled up on a cold dungeon floor, silent as the grave, yet the war in Theon's head was loud and emotional. Theon was in agony, the nerves on his large left toe were pulsing and sending waves of amazing pain that just too much and Ramsay had said he will let it rot before Theon is allowed to beg for him to remove the toe. He sobbed, ground his fists into the stones till they bled. "I will go crazy, go insane, then I won't have to feel anymore," Theon thought to himself. Reek tried to comfort Theon the best he could, he tried to take over some of the pain, even though he was still mad at Theon, blaming him for falling for the trick and getting them into this painful punishment. What if Ramsay never comes back, deciding Theon was a boring prisoner now. He would die very slowly, of dehydration, starvation,of the rot in his flayed toe taking over his body. Reek was trying to ignore his panic by helping Theon. But Theon was stuck in the latest punishment and game of Ramsay's. By the time Theon listened to Reek it was too late, words were said and Ramsay pounced on his pet instantly, seeming delighted and angry all at once. With a voice that cut as badly as one of the flaying knives, Ramsay hissed at his groveling pet. "Reek, you must have forgotten again! You really are dense sometimes. You have no family, no sister, no father, no one. What I told you was true, and I plan on having Asha here at Dreadfort. But Reek must remember his name and his place. I will have to not just flay your toe, but I will let it rot first before you may beg me to remove it. Both Theon and Reek were so afraid they begged, pleaded, promised to be better, to be good, to never think Asha was a sister. It amused Ramsay but he still pulled out the flaying knife and then the pain, the jagged inhuman, bright crimson pain began to consume them, so Theon left Reek to take the pain.

Reek, Reek, Reek, Reek  
Theon needed his new friend/enemy to take away pain and to take away the terrible things Ramsay does or makes him do in his bedchamber. Theon decided that Reek should stay in his head, even though they fight for control, Theon conceded that Reek might have said the right thing and they would still have their toe. Deep inside the crumbling kraken, there was a lovely beach, huge gray rocks, blue sea lapping at the shore. A young boy sat on the beach, he had all his fingers and toes, he even knew how to use the bow and arrows that are next to him on the sand. Yet he was so small, and his eyes were full of pain, his tears added more saltwater to the ocean. A boy, not quite a man yet, hovering on the edge of manhood, yet he felt so small and weak. He tried to not think of pain and wanted to stay here, watching the water. He heard footsteps on the beach behind him and wildly thought, "No! Ramsay cannot be here too! Did he get some form of magic so he could finally take away the last thing Theon had left, his mind." Yet when he spun around, barely breathing, it was another young boy that somehow was young, but looked older, so much older. He had mangled hands and feet, rags rotting right along with a toe. Theon had thick brown hair, this person had long, matted tangles, unwashed and turning white long before it should. The boy that was an old man sat down next to Theon. At first Theon tried to ignore this other one, but eventually he turned his tear stained face, to see that the old/young boy was crying too. "Reek, I am sorry I have made it worse for you. We only have each other now, there is no one else. We will never be saved, I know that now." The two boys leaned against each other and cried for themselves, for the mistakes they can never take back, for the Starks, for the Greyjoys. In their despair and desperate for any form of comfort, the boys hugged each other, clung to each other, and Reek whispered into Theon's ear, "I will stay with you, I promise, I will never leave like others have. You will never have to worry about that, Theon. You are not alone, we are lost together, hold my hand Theon, if you cannot take it, that is okay, you can stay here on this beach. I can take care of us until you feel like coming back..if you want to come back" He decided to stay on the beach a little longer. He was looking to see a ship, any ship. Let Reek deal with the pain and with their sadistic master for a bit longer while he looked for his sister's ship. Reek reminded him, that Ramsay said he had no sister. Theon turns to Reek and says, "No Reek, Ramsay said Reek has no sister. You have no sister, but I do and I will keep watch for Asha. We can switch back later or you can just come back here" Reek heard their cell door open and was just gone. Theon was alone on the beach, he watched for a ship.


	2. Reek Learns To Rhyme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon descends further into himself, hiding from the horrors of being Ramsay's prisoner and plaything. Reek has been trying to learn how to become a pet and avoid as much pain as possible. He is learning how to please Ramsay in all things and is terrified that Theon will resurface and cause them pain, as he has in the past, which is something Reek never wants to ever think about again. He begins to rhyme his name, it is the one game that Ramsay played with him that turned out good for Reek. Sort of.

Reek was cuddling with the dogs in the kennel. He had served Lord Ramsay his wine during dinner, he knelt silently at his Master's side hoping he would allow Reek to eat afterwards, but Ramsay did not. Reek had limped back to the kennels with an empty stomach yet again. Reek no longer had to be taken there or anywhere really. He went where he was told, he did as he was told. These days the mere thought of disobedience scared Reek to tears. Kyra pushed against Reek in her sleep. Reek loved to sleep because there was no Ramsay there, once he was deep down in sleep, no pain either. He started to drift away, the first thing he sees every night in his sleep is Ramsay's eyes, causing him to squirm and cry out. After the eyes fade, there is a brief memory of the time he lost his manhood, which makes him shudder hard against the dog and give a small cry. Then after that there is one last horror to come, worst of all, a vision of a fully flayed woman and a naked bloody Ramsay holding a skin, grinning, blood in his teeth. There was no cry escaping his lips during this nightmare, his body remained frozen until this memory ends. Mercifully it fades away, allowing Reek to sink into deeper darkness, away from pain, so far from Ramsay, never to be reached down here.

A moment later he was on the beach and the warm sand gave his freezing mutilated feet the warmth they have needed for so very long. Reek searched the beach until he reached a brown haired handsome youth. "Theon, it has been a very long time now." The youth slowly looked away from the ocean and turned his head. _"Reek, it is nice of you to visit me here. It has been a long time, I think I was hoping you would forget your way back here."_

 _"Why? Why would you want that?"_ Reek stared at Theon, horrified. _"I need this escape too! I made this for you and I cannot share it?"_ Theon had the grace to look ashamed. _"I said I wished it, not that I actively tried to cause_ _it."_ Reek grumbled, _"Only because you don't know how to do it! Why would you want me to never come back?"_ Theon had regained his composure by now and gave a cocky grin to Reek. _"I will stay here on the beach to give_ _you the comfort you need and I will always be here for you in our hiding place."_ Reek was somewhat appeased by that and sat down on the sand, then lay back, a second later Theon joined him. They lay silently, staring at the sky, listening to the calming waves, until Reek started to sob, so hard that he shook, wailing loudly, then after a moment he screamed in such black rage, the type of rage that can never ever ever exist outside this beach. Throughout his agony, Theon remained still and silent just staring at the sky, only his clenched fists gave away his upset.

After a few minutes, the screaming, shaking and raging would die down, then away. Reek would stop crying and go very still for a bit. Theon did not move and stared at the sky. Reek started to stare at the sky again, then said in a deadpan voice. _"Do you know what Ramsay's last game was before dinner tonight?"_ Theon was now the trembling one, though it was very slight, his fists still clenched, eyes searching the sky. _"No. Please, I do not_ _want to know. You are safe here, just forget."_ Reek let out a bitter laugh and responded. _"Forget? I cannot ever forget, not for a second. Cannot forget anything..not even a stupid name! Theon, the game today was all about my name. He wanted me to come up with rhymes that not only rhymed with my name but was a good description of what Reek was. Any wrong name or description would get a small piece of skin on my chest ripped off."_

Another barking laugh forced its bitter way out of Reek's wounded, skinny throat. _"I was terrified to win this game with no mistakes. Luckily, for me, it turned out to be pretty easy and Master liked my answers. Instead of_ _having my skin ripped from my chest I got raped twice in Ramsay's bed. Aren't I very lucky to have such a kind Master?"_ Theon began to grind his teeth and felt tears welling, he did not move to hide or wipe his eyes, just stared hard at the sky, silent. Reek leaned slightly over Theon, letting his dirty, greasy locks caress Theon's chest. _"Dearest friend, let me tell you all my answers, I remember them still. The first rhyme I came up with was_ _Weak and I could easily identify with that, couldn't I? I told him Weak was my first rhyme and that it matches me because I am very weak. Because I am so weak and pathetic, I am grateful for having Ramsay, who is very strong to help me."_ Reek grinned then, Theon carefully kept his eyes on the sky and away from the smashed teeth in Reek's mouth. _"I always thought I would learn the arts of flattery in a court, but instead I am recieving the_ _best flattery course ever in Dreadfort. Except, that was your thought, not mine, wasn't it?"_ Theon nodded, staring intently at the clouds. _"Sorry about that, I accidently drifted again, soon as I got control and back down here,_ _I did."_ Reek glared at Theon even though he could not get the youth to look back. _"Well, even though I accept that apology, you must get control over this! I cannot have such thoughts in my head, what if it slipped out of my_ _mouth? You know what happened last time, don't you? I cannot go through anymore burning, Theon."_ The boy still did not look away from the sky and said after a moment, _"I am sorry about that...it was an accident. Are you going to tell me that you don't make your own mistakes out there?"_

Reek did not answer but decided to continue his story. _"Meek was my next word. That meek rhymed with Reek and matched me because I was submissive. That I have learned my place was to be a very obedient, respectful_ _pet and a good bitch. Ramsay chuckled at that one. Next rhyme I picked was leak. I took a small advantage of his amused demeanor by gesturing to myself and saying I chose leak because I did, leak that is. Ramsay asked what I leaked and I told him I leaked mostly blood and come. This made Ramsay chuckle again and I was elated! The next one I chose was seek. I explained that I was always seeking a better way to serve and please my Master. That answer got me a nice moment of him petting my hair gently. Then he pushed me away and told me I needed one more rhyme to win the game. Then with a huge smile, he said to me, but Reek, you may not use this rhyme, if you had already thought of it, too bad for you, because I really like this one! Ready, my pet? Freak rhymes with Reek! That is a perfect description of you, isn't it? Since I cut your cock off, you are neither man nor woman, therefore a freak!"_ Theon continued to stare at the sky, the words falling on him like tiny knives. Reek leaned over him further, eyes boring down on him and continued to speak. _"After Ramsay had his little laugh, he told me to continue and tell him one more rhyme. The next one I thought of would work, but was too scary to say, but I could not stand him ripping my skin anymore, I just couldn't"_

 _I told him that I chose the word Sneak. Ramsay narrowed his eyes at this one, and I knew I had better tread oh so very carefully now. As submissively as I possibly could be, lowering myself from hands and knees, down till I could feel the cold stones under me. Only my eyes were still upwards, looking almost into Ramsay's eyes. My words were chosen with great care and came out of my mouth slowly, ever so respectfully, so full of fear and cowardice, it was shaming even me...it would have humiliated you beyond repair, in fact."_ Barking a bitter laugh over that one, Reek swipes at his tears then continues. _"I told him that sneak rhymed with Reek, and said it was me because there was a time when I was terribly bad and disobedient. That I had tried to sneak out of Dreadfort with some whore that wanted to save me for some reason. It was horrible because I knew it was wrong but it felt too late to turn back. Then the dogs and my Master found us. Master had to punish me for being so very bad, but Kyra, she got so much worse and I watched. I learned how strong and powerful Master was. My Master was kind enough to take me back, he was merciful to not break my bones but only whip and flay me. I try to be good all the time now._ " Another short bark of laughter escaped Reek, halting his story for a second.

 _He really liked that one and he brought me to his room for my reward. Two fuckings so brutal, I am still bleeding. I go through this for you Theon, I protect you from feeling this and you tell me you wish I forgot the only hiding place we have. You had wished for me never to return."_ With a last disappointed look at Theon, Reek turned and started to slowly walk toward the other end of the beach. Theon finally stopped staring at the sky and watched as Reek's form got smaller and smaller. Yet Reek's words remained, so bitter and pain filled. _"This is why I_ _do not want you to ever come back to my beach."_ Theon said softly, tears streaming turning everything to a blur as Reek's words started to get louder, and heavier upon Theon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear about challenges or hearing of different Bolton pairings or ideas for others to write out, how do I find out about these? I would like to try a challenge. Please let me know what you think of this story...it is a little, well way different than most and I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing.


	3. Waiting for Asha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Asha got caught by Ramsay? I wondered if Theon would emerge again? So let's find out! Thanks to Amethyst for the idea!!!

Reek was curled up underneath Lord Ramsay's chair, half dozing, half listening to the drone of voices above him.  He was mainly listening for any indication that Ramsay was looking for him or was very agitated, because that usually meant Ramsay would want him in harm's reach.  The words meant nothing to him, the tones were excited but not angry so he let it wash all over him and away again.  For Reek, it has been a very good day.  Incredible in fact.  He was not sure why Ramsay had been so merciful to him today, but he was grateful and hoped he could stay good enough for it to continue a little longer.  Ramsay had not hurt him once today, not even once!  Also, he let Reek have some gruel this morning, allowed him to spend the day following his master and even got gently petted on the head several times.  It was terrifying because it was different and Reek feared any change as a trick, but even if there was a trick coming, he was fed and not hurt for hours now, it was worth it.

Suddenly a word caught his attention, a word so strange and startling that he strained to hear it again in their conversation.  Soon enough, it was repeated. _Asha._   A name he did not know but it inspired dread and hope till it hurt his stomach.  _"Do not think of it, it will lead to an end to this kindness from Ramsay, I know it."_ he chided himself.   That name was making him weep, which was stupid since he did not know any Asha.  Yet he continued to listen about this Asha, every word hurting him  yet he did not know why.  Reek knew one thing, that was not to let Ramsay see him cry or be upset over this Asha person.  He sensed that Ramsay would be angry about Reek knowing anyone or having thoughts of anyone besides his master. 

Soon enough Ramsay moved his boot back to push Reek out from under his chair, by then his eyes were dry and as submissive as ever.  Reek scrambled to kneel beside his Lord's boots and peeked out through his long, dirty hair at eyes that haunted his dreams.  _"Forgive me, Master."_ Ramsay looked down at his pet with a look that Reek did not quite understand, but was frightened by.  _"Little Reek, I started to wonder if you had fallen asleep under there.  Are we boring you, my pet?"_   Wringing his mangled hands together, he looked pleadingly up at Ramsay.  _"No, Master...I would never find you boring and I would never go to sleep when I_ _shouldn't, I swear!"_   Tears started to stream down his face, he just knew that a new game was coming, a terrible one.

 _"So if you were paying attention, what were we talking about?"_ Ramsay's tone was cheerful, his body relaxed in the chair, but Reek knew the intense look in his Lord's eyes very well.  Swallowing back panic and bile, Reek peeked up through his hair that was thankfully covering his face  _"Master..I..I do not listen for the_ _words...but for any need to serve you.  So I do not pay attention to the words."_ By the time he finished speaking he was whispering and cringing down low, waiting to lose this game and get hurt.  Ramsay smiled and reached out a hand to ruffle Reek's hair.  _"Did you wish to hear what we were discussing?"_   Reek knew this was dangerous territory now. _"Master, I only want to please you.  I will listen if you wish me to, but I only want to obey you."_

Still smiling, Ramsay beckoned his pet closer, then grabbed his bony chin, to stare into Reek's terrified eyes.  _"We were discussing an Ironborn bitch.  A woman_ _named Asha Greyjoy who is marching towards Dreadfort, coming to rescue someone.  Who do you think she is rescuing, pet?"  "I..I do not know, Master."_ Reek whispered, feeling a horrible buzzing in his head. Who was this person, this name that hurts?   Ramsay's eyes seemed to soften slightly at Reek's confused eyes.  _"This Asha will never rescue anyone though, Reek.  Do you know why?  Because  we have planned a nice trap for her.  I will bring her back here for you to meet, if_ _you would like?"_ Reek's voice was shaking in terror, as he struggled to respond past the terrible blackness that hit his shattered mind. _"Master..I would like to meet_ _her if you wish it.  I just want to serve and obey, please."_

With a chuckle, Ramsay released his grip, then stood up.  _"Reek, go polish my boots, my hunting boots for this Asha."_ Reek nodded and scurried away quickly to Lord Ramsay's chambers.  Only after he made it inside and under the bed did he let himself sob.  _I was so very lucky to win that game,_ he thinks, clutching his remaining fingers together.    After Reek calmed himself, he pulled the boots and polishing cloths under the bed with him, setting to work there.  For some reason he was so agitated that he was afraid to let anyone passing by see him.  Shaking his head, he started to mutter to himself.  _"Reek rhymes with weak, meek, freak,_ _leak, shriek, seek...seek...who is Asha seeking...meek, weak, seek, why do I seek this name, how does this game work?  Why a game in my own head, I hate games."_

That night Ramsay was so pleased with Reek that he let him sleep on his rug, under the bed.  So grateful to have gone a whole day without pain, with food and a warm sleeping place, Reek did not care that he had to pleasure Ramsay for hours, however humiliating, however painful, it was a small price to pay for his good day.  Curled up, on the verge of sleep, the name he managed to bury for most of the day and night, rose unbidden again.  He whimpered slightly, trying to banish the name before terror could take hold.  As he writhed, whimpering slightly, he drifted into sleep.  First always came the nightmares of Ramsay, then usually nothing.  Yet tonight was different, after his tormenter, came a dream.  Reek found himself on a beach, instantly he dug his feet into the hot sand, sighing in pleasure.  He knew this place yet he did not.  But good dreams are seldom for Reek, so he walks the beach, enjoying this one rare blissful moment.

After a bit, he noticed a teen boy sitting on the beach, staring out at the waves.  Somewhow, again, he knew yet did not know this young man. He continued to walk forwards till the other turned to face him.  Reek stopped and stared, the two of them with the same shock on their faces. _"Oh, I had forgotten you, didn't you wish_ _for that?"_   Theon nodded, biting his lip. _"Yes, I did, but then I missed you for awhile.  Then I just forgot too."_ Theon tilts his head, staring at his broken, thin frame, covered in scars and bruises.  _"I am sorry for what he has done to you, but why are you back here?  What has happened to make you remember this place and me?"_   Reek thought for a moment, then simply said, _"Asha."_

 


	4. Broken Krakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon wants to save Asha and Reek wishes to forget both and save himself.

Theon stared at Reek.  _"What of Asha?  Tell me!"_ Pushing his sore feet further into the hot sand, Reek shrugged his shoulders.  _"Very little to tell, I guess.  Ramsay_ _said she was marching on Dreadfort, that he laid a trap for her and would bring her back for...well..whatever he wants."_ Theon had gone pale and started wringing his hands, grimaced as he noticed Reek was making the same motions.  _"We need to help her!  There has to be something or someway to send a message to her or_ _stall Ramsay!"_   Reek staggered back in horror at the mere idea of trying to interfere with anything Ramsay wished to do.  _"No, oh no.  I will not cross him and niether_ _will you!  He said he wants me to meet her, so I can try and tell her how to act to survive.  To not become one of his dogs, that I can do but that is all."_

 _"Coward!  This is Asha, our sister, how could you not want to save her?"_   Reek merely shook his head and replied, _"No Theon.  Reek has no sister, remember?  Just Ramsay, that is all I have now.  I will not risk my own small bits of skin left for a person I do not know."_ Theon takes a deep shuddering breath then starts to walk up the beach.  _"Where are you going?  Theon?"_   A terrible fear hits Reek, what if Theon was planning to wake up, what if Ramsay woke up to find his little pet with Theon's personality?  In mortal terror, Reek throws his thin body at Theon, knocking them both to the sand.  Bony hands clutch at healthy ones. _"Theon, please!_ _You cannot come back!  It will not do any good!  Ramsay would hurt Asha twice as bad, if not kill her just to teach you a lesson.  The second he heard you, the moment you try to plead for her, defy him for her, she will become a dog, you know that!"_

Theon started to cry in frustration and despair.  _"It is my sister, I cannot just let him take her!  You know what he does to women and Asha will never beg, cry or obey him, no matter what he does.  She will not live long and then I have to live with that guilt as well."_ The two broken krakens lay together, held together by guilt, shame, hatred and pain.  After a time, Reek spoke.  _"I will try to help her, I promise that.  It may not be much, but I can try the best I can."_   Nodding, Theon sat up, wiping his eyes.  _"Then that is that.  Will you remember to come back to tell me how she is?"_ Reek promised to remember how to get back to the beach and then as much as he hated waking, he started to walk up the beach, knowing he did not dare stay any longer.

All through the day, Reek was in mental agony.  After Ramsay and his men had left to trap the Ironborn, Reek spent the day hiding under Ramsay's bed, terrified for Asha, terrified that he or Theon would reveal their concern for her.  He prayed that Asha escape whatever plot Ramsay had created.  At nightfall, sounds of the men returning came through the window and Reek scrambled out from under the bed to peer out the window.  Scanning the confusing mass of horses, torchlight and men, he looked for sight of Asha, but did not see her or Ramsay.  He turned, shuffling out the door and down to the hall, Ramsay liked to see Reek waiting for him.  Just as Ramsay came into the hall, Reek knelt in middle of the room, head down to the rushes, trembling.  When the hunting boots stopped in front of him, Reek kissed the blood and mud smeared leather in greeting.  _"Did you miss me, little Reek?"_   A large hand briefly caressed his head, which caused Reek's eyes to spill over with tears of gratitude for the kindness.  _"Yes Master, very much."_ Reek leaned into the touch, desperate to please, hoping to not hurt. 

 _"My pet, I have someone for you to meet in the dungeon.  Crawl beside me, Reek, we shall go see her together!"_ Reek's heart seemed to stop for a second, but self preservation made him crawl forward without a sound.  As they headed into the dark horror of the dungeon, he found himself unable to stop whimpering, such painful memories were crowding his head.  Ramsay laughed and began to tease his creature.  _"Why, Reek, you are so scared, I think you may faint!  Such times we spent down here together before you learned to behave.  Then the times alone in the dark, time must have seemed to freeze.  Time alone with your thoughts eating at you, along with the rats of course!  I believe my boys visited you sometimes too.  Yes, such a past this place must hold for you.  Yet, do not worry, dearest Reek,_ _as long as you continue to behave so well, there is no fear of this place.  We are just visiting, not staying."_   Crawling, sobbing, Reek felt his mind slipping under the horror of the past and the fear of what lies ahead.

Ramsay unlocked a cell door, nudged Reek through the door with a boot then entered, locking the door behind him.  Reek concentrated on his Master's boots, to stay beside them, to huddle very low, to not look up, to ignore what lay ahead of him.  His voice laced with malice and amusement, Ramsay spoke to his cowering slave.  _"Reek, stop being so rude to our new guest and look up at her.  Greet her politely, little pet."_   Shaking, Reek raised up his face to look upon Asha, bleeding on the same cross Reek remembered far too well.  With a voice that was feeble and cracked, he greeted her. _"My master says your name is Asha.  I am Reek, I belong_ _to Ramsay.  Ramsay's Reek."_   Ignoring the creature cringing at Ramsay's feet, Asha had eyes and words only for her tormentor.  _"You actually brought your pathetic plaything to meet me?  Are you that desperate for social interaction, bastard?  Are you so outcast that an old man and a prisoner are the best you can do for_ _stimulating conversation?"_ she sneered at him, bared her teeth at him.  

Unable to help himself, Reek squeaked in suprised terror at Asha's words, knowing how badly Ramsay's anger can hurt, he flinched then lowered himself onto the freezing stones.  Instead of flying into a rage however, Ramsay just walked over to the cross, grinned at his captive then backhanded her.  Asha spit blood at him, cursing and struggling in her bonds.  _"Asha, he is not an old man.  My little Reek, my best bitch,_ _he is younger than you actually.  I do not think you looked closely_ _enough at him.  If you did, you would have recognized him.  Perhaps you should stop fighting long enough to see if you do know him."_   Ramsay ordered Reek to stand up and walk over to him.  In misery, Reek stood, shuffled over, did not resist when Ramsay reached out to push the long dirty hair out of his face.  _"Take a_ _very good look, Asha."_ First staring at Ramsay in confusion, then Asha's eyes began to flick over Reek's sunken, bruised features.  _"What exactly am I looking for?_ _How can this man be younger than me?  What have you done to him?  I do not understand..."_ Asha's voice faded away as sudden shock flooded her face. 

 _"Theon?  Is that you?  Ramsay, you son of a bitch, is that my brother?"_ Her voice was full of rage and her eyes full of pity for her broken sibling.  Reek said nothing, stood numb and made sure his eyes stared right through Asha.  He knew Ramsay would be watching him for the slightest sign of recognition.  _"Pet, tell this dumb_ _female what your name is again."  "My name is Reek."_ he responded, his voice deviod of all emotion.  _"Yes, it is.  I gave him that name when I felt he was unworthy of_ _the original one.  Do you like it, Asha?  Perhaps, I will take the time to train and rename you as well, sweetheart.  Then I can have a pair of broken krakens to serve me."_


	5. You Are Lost and You Are Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon expects too much of Reek. So does Ramsay. Whomever wins, Reek will lose.

**One foot in the icy cold salt water.**

_"I tried, Theon. Tried so hard.  She would not listen, would not bend even the slightest."_ Reek clenched his hands tightly to his chest, remembering Asha's bloody fingers landing in a pool of blood, he had clenched his broken teeth together hard enough to become lost in the haze of pain, for Ramsay watched his every emotion, every movement.  Yet, the Master's little pet, never flinched at the fingers, at the screams, nothing, as if he saw or cared for nothing but his beloved, merciful Lord.

 

**Two feet in the water now.**

_"You know how much I risked helping her!  Sneaking into the cell to tell her to behave, to give him what he wanted so she would not be hunted.  Asha laughed at me, asked if I had followed my own advice.  When I told her how I became Reek, what we did to survive, she did not want the advice.  She laughed at me!   Pitied me, and told me she would rather be dinner for dogs then become a bitch like me!  As if it was a decision, a mere choice!  Tell me what more I could have done?"_

 

**Further into the water, waves crashing against calves.**

_"You could have died with her."_   Came the soft reply, and Reek's eyes filled with tears, bitter ones that burned like acid down his face.  _"I was not with him when he chose to hunt her.  He had locked me in his bedchamber.  Should I have leapt out a_ _window?"  "What about before then?  Where were you when he tortured her into insanity?"_ Reek hated that insistent voice and wanted to hurt its owner.  _"Well, maybe I was protecting you!  For that matter, if you cared so much, why did you not_ _overpower me and take care of your sister yourself?  We both know you could have come out any moment, but you did not, did you?"_ he hissed, wanting to make sure to spread the pain around.  

 

**When spray hit, Theon could taste it on his lips now, another step deeper.**

_"No, I did not come out to save the day.  We are both cowards then.  Asha was the brave one.  Always was."_ Reek swiped his tears away angrily. _"Besides, we both know, he would never let us die with her, or maybe ever.  He likes us, we amuse him, he_ _needs someone to hurt, to always be entertaining.  At least we had each other."_ Reek whispered, watching the other half of himself.

 

 **Waist high in the waves, Theon was sure he could see a figure in the distance.**   

 _"You could not be you, so you became me...and you promised I would not be alone."_ Reek whimpered.

_"You promised you would take all the pain and misery."_

_"I did!  But I cannot take your pain and misery, plus then your sister's! You asked too much."_

 

**The first wave crashed over his face, but when his eyes stopped stinging, Theon saw something.**

_"I see her!  She is waving to me!  We will die together with the Drowned God!"_

Reek gave a pained laugh.  _"Yes, you and your sister can die and be at peace now.  Just leave me alone."_

 

**As the last wave came in, then took Theon with it, he left a lasting statement for his other and now only half.**

_"But Reek, you are never alone, you will always have Ramsay."_

 

A sharp kick to his ribs woke him up and conditioning made him instantly wide awake, cringing, scrambling onto his knees, apologizing.  Another sharp kick this time to his head, knocking him back down, the pain in his head so great that he holds it in his hands, fearing his brains may leak out. _"Here I am, kind man that I am, allowing you to sleep on my rug, instead of in the freezing kennels, and you howl through the night?"  "Please forgive me, Master, it was a nightmare."_ Ramsay grabbed a handful of his pet's greasy hair and yanks it half playfully. _"A nightmare of what, little bitch?"_   Reek thinks for a moment but cannot really remember. _"I..I do not remember now...a nightmare of being alone forever."_ he answered slowly.  His loving master released his hold and then petted his Reek's hair gently, but his laughter cut like the knives he so loved.  _"Silly, broken minded pet, how can you dream of being alone?  You will always have me."_ Reek nodded. _"Of course, Master.  I am grateful,_ _for you.  WIthout you, I would truly be alone."_   And he was, grateful, as much as he could be.  Alone was worse, wasn't it?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I cannot ever seem to give a good ending with poor Reek, can I?

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know how others think the "REEK" moment happened...or even better, write out your version on how he switched to Reek!! Because I would love to read it! Is that a challenge someone might ask....and yes. yes it is! ::grins:: I apologize for how long this is..there will be another chapter to this..provided I can figure out how to add chapters..LOL


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